Nothing
by wildfire210
Summary: Nothing. That was what she wanted to feel. Nothing. She didn't want to feel her broken heart, the agony of losing her love to someone else. She didn't to feel their pity as they looked down at her. She just wanted nothing. But she soon learned to be careful what she wished for...


Shadows danced at the rims of her sightless eyes. Lightsong turned her head away and sighed. It had been months, no, _years_, after her accident. She didn't even know why she clung to the hope that maybe, someday; she could be of use to her clan.

_Useless. You are useless._

Nettleclaw was like his name, for he had only said those words to her once, and still they stung. Lightsong closed her eyes, trying to remember what it was like to see, to still be normal. It had been so long since, and she could barely remember what colors were, what a sunset was, and even what her own parents looked like. It also didn't help that every time she tried to remember, one image came to mind. One image that she wished she _could _forget.

_The pleasure of love will last an eternity, but so shall the scars. _

Lightsong didn't know who said that, but they were right. She knew she loved him, she just knew it. She just didn't know who to talk to.

She couldn't go to any of the warriors, they would tell her it was all in her head, that she was too young to know what love is. Not Stormheart, he was the cat's brother, and that would be uncomfortable. Not Dawnmist, even though she was the one cat who knew her secret. No, the only one who could help her was Crimsonclaw, and he was the problem.

She had seen him a few times before her accident. She knew he had probably changed in the past moons but she still could remember what he had looked like. He had a strange white marking on his shoulder, almost like a crescent moon. His fur was a lovely red crimson color, his eyes light green.

But what was the point? Lightsong knew Crimsonclaw had feelings for another, so why should she bother?

She could hear the apprentices whisper about Crimsonclaw and Shentani, the rouge that the clan had rescued.. For the first time, she was _grateful _that she was blind. She wasn't jealous, she wasn't, but every time somebody mentioned Shentani and Crimsonclaw she wanted to die, die, die.

Lightsong opened her eyes slowly, but it was the same as if they were closed. She could distinguish light and darkness, and that she was grateful for. For others, they were trapped in a world of darkness, never to see the first light. She was lucky.

She padded to a small shimmering pool of water that lay just outside of the camp, knowing it by memory. She dipped her paw in, shivering as the icy cold water soaked her fur. She forced herself to keep her paw there, enjoying the numb pain that crept up it. She wanted the rest of her to feel this way. She wanted to feel nothing.

_I don't want their pity. I don't want their affections. I just want- nothing. _

Lightsong slowly drew her paw out. She felt nothing, just pain creeping up her leg. She shook out her paw, spraying droplets of water. She went back to camp, lost in her thoughts.

Lightsong could feel the ground vibrate beneath her paws. She turned her head and sniffed the air, only to catch hold of the strange scent of the marsh. She shrank back into the shadows. They were Enemy warriors, in Thunderclan territory.

She could hear angry shouts coming from the camp. Lightsong bolted back to camp, fear taking its grip. She struggled through the brush and undergrowth, her breath caught in her throat.

Sharp Stones pierced her soft, delicate pads, but she paid no mind. Her mind was focused on one thing, her pack. She had to try and warn them.

She stood in the middle of her camp, rooted to the spot. It was a battle, a battle taking place in her own camp. If she hadn't lost her sight, Lightsong would have been excited at the thought of battle. But, if she was blind, how could she tell where her enemy was?

She could hear two warriors locked in a fierce tussle. She sniffed that air, then recoiled in shock. That was Crimsonclaw and…Shentani? Shentani was….A traitor?

_Her name means devil for a reason._ The elder's remark rang in Lightsong's ears bitterly.

Lightsong scented blood, sharp and revolting. Shentani was winning, and from what it sounded like, she was about to kill. Suddenly, a plan formulated in Lightsong's mind. There was no way to get out of this without a life being lost. But it didn't have to be Crimson.

Lightsong took a deep breath, tensing her muscles. Then she sprang forward, charging at Shentani. Shentani gave a yelp of surprise as Lightsong hit her, but she recovered quickly.

Lightsong felt blood bubble up as Shentani dug her teeth into her throat. She flailed her paws, hearing a yowl of pain when she caught Shentani in the muzzle. She felt pressure at her chest, claws slowly sinking in…

_Nothing_

_That was all that was there_

_She was fading to nothing_

_Images flashed in her mind_

_Crimsonclaw's smiling face,_

_Dawnmist's mischievous look,_

_A flash of claws,_

_A scream of pain,_

_Shadows dancing in front of her eyes, _

_Her mother's quiet comfort,_

_They all faded away into nothing,_

_Nothing_

_Can't see nothing_

_Couldn't say nothing_

_Couldn't hear nothing_

_Her everything had turned to nothing_

_Her love had been nothing_

_Her protests meant nothing._

_Maybe it was better_

_Just to fade away quietly into_

_Nothing. _


End file.
